They wouldn't hurt a fly!

Dogs trap mail carrier, flatten tires

HANOVER, Pa. -- A mail carrier was trapped inside her car for nearly two hours at a home near Hanover after a pair of dogs attacked her tires, flattening three of them.

Robin Barton had to summon help by cell phone on Wednesday. When the police arrived, the dogs attacked the cruiser's tire as well.

Authorities were preparing to tranquilize the dogs Judge and Justice, a Rottweiler and a pit-bull mix, before the surprised and apologetic homeowner arrived.

Stephanie Dekelbaum, the dogs' owner, called them "generally sweethearts" and blamed the attack on a tire toy the dogs had recently been given.

Top Ten Best Seinfeld Moments

And these are the kind of people who will be choosing the next leader of the free world...

It's Clinton, not Obama. No, it's Obama!

NORRISTOWN, Pa. -- Montgomery County authorities say a man stabbed his brother-in-law during an argument over who should get the Democratic nomination for president. What's more, Jose Ortiz, 28, who's charged with felony assault, is a registered Republican.

District Attorney Risa Ferman said Ortiz supports Hillary Clinton and Sean Shurelds supports Barack Obama. She told reporters Monday that the two got into an argument in a Collegeville home Thursday night and Shurelds tried to choke Ortiz. She says Ortiz then stabbed Shurelds in the abdomen.

Shurelds was taken to a hospital in critical condition, but is expected to recover.

Whaddya mean I can't order a hooker?

Apparently, employers get upset when their staff members try and order prostitutes on the premises. Who knew??

DES MOINES, Iowa -- A judge has denied an Iowa man's claim that he shouldn't have been fired for repeatedly requesting help to procure a prostitute.

Neil Jorgensen, 62, of Kalona, worked at Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in Riverside and was given a gift certificate and free night's stay at the casino hotel to mark a year's employment.

After eating and drinking at a casino restaurant, he returned to his hotel room about midnight and later called hotel managers about hiring a prostitute. When managers refused to help him, he made a call to the adjacent resort and made the same request.

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

Hotel workers were sent to Jorgensen's room to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes. When they arrived at his room, Jorgensen answered the door in the nude, human resources director Tim Donovan said.

Jorgensen was fired the next day.

At the hearing, Jorgensen said his actions didn't hurt the casino, and he said he'd received strong performance reviews. He also blamed the restaurant for serving him too much alcohol.

"I was absolutely plowed," he said.

Administrative Law Judge Terence Nice turned down Jorgensen's claim for unemployment benefits.

TSA Gangstaz

A friend of a friend has this on his blog, and it's just too funny to not include here.

NSFW - Language mostly.

It's time for Germany news again

I'm not so sure I'd be very happy if I were the dog....


Police dogs get footwear

BERLIN — Police dogs in the western German city of Duesseldorf will no longer get their feet dirty when on patrol: The entire dog unit will soon be equipped with blue plastic fiber shoes, officials said Monday.

"All 20 of our police dogs — German and Belgian shepherds — are currently being trained to walk in these shoes," Andre Hartwich said. "I'm not sure they like it, but they'll have to get used to it."

The unusual footwear is not a fashion statement, Hartwich said, but rather a necessity due to the high rate of paw injuries on duty. In the city's historical old town in particular — famous for both its pubs and drunken revelers — the dogs often step into broken beer bottles, he said.

"Even the street cleaning doesn't manage to remove all the glass pieces from between the streets' cobblestones," Hartwich said, adding that the dogs frequently get injured by little pieces sticking deep in their paws.

The dogs will start wearing the shoes this spring — but only during operations that demand special foot protection. The shoes comes in sizes small, medium and large and were ordered in blue to match the officers' uniforms, Hartwich said.

"Now we just have to teach the dogs how to tie their shoes," he joked.

Playmates of the Devil

A fence bordering both Heaven and Hell was in need of repair. Hell sent Heaven a memo, stating: "Based on our extensive legal counsel, we conclude that repair of the fence is entirely Heaven's responsibility. Heaven sent a memo back, "Having no access to legal counsel, we accept responsibility."

Barack v. Hillary

New blog in the blogroll

One of my poker buddies mentioned this last night, while he was stealing my chips. It's a parody blog of the T-Mobile C.O.O., Sue Nokes. (Fake Sue Nokes)

As a former TMO gang member, I like to keep up on the goings on over there.

Check out the new blog, it's hilarious!

UPDATE

The Fake Sue Nokes blog is no longer being updated. The author has decided to put the blog on hiatus, but is leaving the blog up for viewing of historical posts.

UPDATE x2

The Fake Sue Nokes blog is back!